She Doesn't Have Gas

I’m starving. Where is RY? We were going to meet for a drink, but I figured I’d get something small to eat at the same time. WHY am I still waiting in my room at 6:45 with no word? I know as soon as I head to the bar he’ll call and say “I’m here!” and I will have just ordered. Better to just wait. Still. I’m starving. I hear the bike bell chime on my phone, thank god. It’s about time. ’Hey MK, just landed, I’ll head to get my car and then head over.’ Seriously? Its 7pm, you’re totally not going to get here until 8 and I’m starving. There’s no restaurants in the area so we’re just going to end up in the bar area anyway. “Ok, I’m going to head down to the bar.” Grumble grumble. I turn the TV off and head down in the elevator.

When the elevator doors open, I can hear the voices before I even get to the lobby bar. Sounds like there’s a party going on. Oh, that’s right. There was that “Welcome” happy hour before the show starts. I wanted to go to that, but not alone. But it should be over by now… When I round the corner, it looks like happy hour never ended. The ‘U’ shaped bar area is full, and there is nowhere to sit and save a seat for RY. I walk towards one side, and then back to the other looking for an empty seat next to someone who will be friendly, but not too friendly. I find a single seat near the end of the bar sandwiched between who seems to be the bar regular and a normal-looking guy who could be part of this conference. RY’s comment goes through my head as I sit down “You’re going to get hit on a lot MK.” Great. I just want food. And maybe a beer.

As I belly up to the bar I glance to my left to see who is sitting next to me and realize it’s my sales guys. “Hey! I didn’t know you guys were coming down. That’s weird that the only seat left in the bar was next to you! Sort of perfect.” AN and SC were sales guys I met briefly before moving to the Las Vegas office. They seemed nice enough, but very ‘guy’ like. Sports talk, golf, games… not necessarily my strengths. I can hold my own, but I’m so not interested. Thankful for the company I’m chatting with them and they’re joking with me about the lack of my voice (I’d lost my voice for absolutely no reason the night before my first trade show) and teasing me about my Britney Spears concert I must have gone to the night before (which I did not. She wasn’t going to be in Vegas for another month.) The whole time I’m getting distracted by a man sitting in my line of vision at the mid-point of the bar; light hair, quiet confidence and understated good looks.

He was eating and talking with someone next to him though I couldn’t see who. His upper body was turned toward them when talking, but his lower body was turned towards his food which he was eating slowly while nodding to the other person. He looked up and caught me looking at him, but I didn’t care. Unusual for me, I usually pretend like I was scanning the room and never look back but this time I made eye contact with him a couple of times before I did the extended-eye-contact-and-smile-for-three-to-five-seconds move. Trying to flirt unsuspectingly across a room while sitting with colleagues is difficult. I wanted this guy to know I thought he was good looking so I had to hold eye contact for at least three seconds; something that has been extremely hard for me in similar situations from the past. For some reason it was easy to do with him. He reciprocated with his own I-see-you-seeing-me look and then I was distracted by RY’s arrival. I got up to give RY a hug, and help him find a seat. When I looked back to find him he was gone.

I don’t remember the first time I noticed him, but I noticed him over and over and over again. My memory has him bathed in light, but it may just be that he had light hair and a light colored shirt in a sea of black. I liked the way he sat. I liked the way he moved (not that he moved much, but I liked it when he did – hand to mouth and back down). I’d probably like the way he breathed, but that’s neither here nor there. In that moment this man was perfect and he noticed me and he didn’t seem to mind me noticing him. I couldn’t help but smile and that was enough to keep me smiling for days. I didn’t really want him to come over and talk because of all the ‘what ifs:’ you know, what if he had a high pitched voice (doubt it, he’s way too beautiful for that) what if he smelled bad (I’m pretty sure he would smell amazing) what if he was a jerk (that was still possible – guys that good looking are typically armed with an aloof and smug attitude to match). Better for him to stay where he is - in my head as a great smelling, attentive and kind gentleman with an attraction to me.

How fun is it to have a little flirtation, even if it never goes anywhere? Non-verbal flirtation is almost better because you can use your imagination for their wit. It’s usually exactly what you’d want them to say and you can respond with your own witty and charming responses. There is always chemistry and they are always smart. “How are you today?” “I’m fine thanks. You’re looking particularly handsome today. Would you like to take me away to a tropical location and have your way with me? Great. Let’s go.”

After my team left I looked over towards where he was sitting – maybe he’d come back in for one last heart pounding moment of eye contact. That space was empty, but that smile still lingered in my head. Sigh. I turned my attention to the funny looking indie New Yorker sitting next to me. We chatted about my company, his company, the trade show and my strained vocal chords. Funny looking man then informed me that the reason my voice was coming back after I was drinking was probably because I had a bacterial infection and the alcohol was killing bits of it. Great. That’s sexy. Totally takes away from the fact that my voice is that sultry ‘I’ve-been-smoking–for-twenty-years-and-this-is-what-my-voice-has-turned-into’… why is a smoker's voice supposedly a sultry or sexy voice? It’s actually disgusting when you think about it.

As I got ready the next morning trying to prepare myself for what the day held, I had no idea what to expect or what I should even wear. My clothes for this trip were not sufficient to make me feel very good looking or at all confident. Friday afternoon notice was all I had to prepare and plan for this Monday morning trip and I needed all the money I had for the travel expenses. My pants didn’t fit right – they were too big and too long. I haven’t had time to hem them correctly so every time I walk down a flight of stairs my heel is in jeopardy of catching the hem which could send me flying down the stairs head over feet. Not the first time that would happen, but still. I’m at my first professional event, I need to be suave. If not suave, at least I could fly under the radar and not make an ass out of myself.

I head downstairs to meet JA for our much anticipated trip to Starbucks, which we had to take a cab to because there aren’t many food options within walking distance. We pile into the cab, grab our coffees and head back to the booth. Standing at the edge of the booth looking in I could see down the aisle to prepare myself for when people started to come in and ask questions. I had no idea how to correctly answer prospective clients when asked, “So, tell me what you guys do.” AN, SC, JA and I are chatting and laughing in the booth when I catch a glimpse of something that has me do a double take. The beautiful man from the night before is in the room. Walking towards me. Looking straight at me. You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s walking over here. Looking straight at me. Is he insane?!?!? Is he seriously going to come talk to me first thing in the morning – in front of my co-workers? You know Katie, that would be just your luck. To be completely embarrassed by a guy who caught your eye at a bar the night before just by having him walk up to you and talk to you by saying something like “didn’t I see you checking me out last night? Thought I’d come over and introduce myself since I could absolutely tell you think I’m …” I interrupt my own thoughts to focus on something other than complete embarrassment walking my way. JA is talking about what is going to happen for the day - selling our company, that’s probably important since that’s what I’m here for, and I’m not going to engage with that guy right now so I’ll just focus on what’s going on In the booth.

“Oh, you’re here.” JA says as she looks to the space next to me. You’re kidding me. No. Effing. Way! “Hi.” He’s standing shoulder to shoulder with me and extends his hand across his body to shake mine. He says his name as I offer my hand to shake his and say, “Hi. I’m Katie.” I’m sure the handshake lasted a beat longer than normal, and the smile I was trying to hide seemed like it was obvious to everyone. I was focused on making sure my face didn’t explode into laughter, giggles or the embarrassing red hue which typically accompanies this particular situation. It was strange. My face didn’t turn hot, I didn’t start sweating, and I was able to keep my composure – just like a professional. It was the calmest uncomfortable situation I’ve ever been a part of.

I wasn’t sure what to do since this was my first trade show. I had no idea where to stand, what to look at, who to talk to or what to say. Add in the fact that there is a man in the booth I can’t keep my eyes off of. I keep looking at him and when he catches me, I don’t care. I don’t look away. I just smile. I’m not even hiding it anymore. I just like looking at him.

There are some awkward moments of course; moments where I try to talk to a prospective client and try to sell him something that I’m not sure I completely understand myself. My face turns red, I sweat profusely and stumble on my words trying to complete sentences and answer questions that I don’t even understand. It’s humiliating and entertaining all at once. I’m experiencing so many emotions all at the same time and all I want to do is get locked in a room with this handsome creature that I apparently work with and didn’t even know it. At one point I look at him as he’s standing at the edge of the booth with his hands in his pockets and think, he would be nice to walk down the aisle to. WHAT. Whoa, where did that just come from? Snap out of it! This guy is totally married or at the least has a girlfriend. She’s probably tall and thin with long legs and perfect teeth. She never has gas and music follows her everywhere she goes. She is Jennifer Anniston, Zooey Deschanel and Megan Fox with Ginnifer Goodwin’s adorable personality. She’s successful and smart and has him wrapped around her finger. And it probably has a huge rock on it. Sigh.


As the day progressed, I learned more about how to answer the questions posed to us about our company. I also had eye candy to focus on right in my own booth. There were lots of lasting moments of eye contact and smiles. Banter with colleagues, banter with prospective clients, banter all around. At some point I found out I was the only person who had access to a special area for hotel guests where you could use the internet, grab coffee, water, juice and snacks as well as watch TV or grab a magazine. I’m still unsure why I had this privilege, but it did allow me some one on one time with my own personal eye candy as we walked to get him some coffee and some waters for the rest of the group. I’m pretty sure I talked his ear off. No matter, I’ll probably never see him again and he’s most likely married – no ring per say, but he looks like the married type. Nicely groomed, well put together and quietly confident. A guy like that is never single. Sigh. Oh well. He’s out of my league anyway.

That night we all went out for a team dinner. I tried to position myself next to him in the cab, but because he’s a gentleman he let everyone in first and took the seat up front. I’m pretty sure that’s an amateur move on my part, but I never said I was good at this. The guys I date tend to forget I’m waiting to get in as well and let the cabbie drive off without me. As we’re seated at the table, he sits next to me. We’re all chatting and laughing and then he says “So, was that your boyfriend at the booth?” I hear JA almost choke on her water. He looks at JA and says “I’ll take that as a no.” He was referring to RY, who kept stopping by the booth to say hello and pass some time in between sessions. I told him he wasn’t but that he was a former colleague and his response was “Oh, I just thought he was since he would stop by to check in so often.” Heh. Nope, but I’m pretty sure you were just fishing for a little info there. I like you. You’re adorable. Your girlfriend is so lucky.

The rest of the show went by fairly quickly. A little too quickly because I didn’t want to leave my new favorite man, and as the show neared the end I was a little sad, but what can you do really? I was the first one to leave. Eye Candy decided he wanted to check his email on my laptop before I took off. I was joking with him that he was holding me hostage. “What are your demands, sir?” He laughed. What I really wanted him to say was something like “I’d like you to miss your flight so you have to stay an extra night and we can go to dinner and have more flirtatious eye contact. Maybe some flirtatious banter away from co-workers so I can get your story.” My luck is interesting, but not that good. So, it was time for me to leave and I stood in the booth looking at him. ‘Well, it was nice meeting you.” Awkward smile and pause. I thought maybe he’d say “Do you have a card?” or “Here’s my card” or “You are adorable. I’m going to call you when I’m in Vegas this weekend (Valentines’ day weekend) even though I’m probably bringing my hot wife/girlfriend. You’re just that interesting to me and I want to find out more about you.” All he said was, “Nice to meet you too.” Then after a beat, he opened his arms to give me a hug. Smile.

He smelled nice. He felt nice. I fit in ‘the nook’. I didn’t want to leave. I smiled for a week after that. It really is the small things in life. There were no numbers exchanged. There was no when can I see you again? When are we shacking up together? When do I get my first kiss?

Nothing.

10 Things About Vegas I Didn't Know Until I Got Here

1. And they say Chicago is the Windy City.
On more than one occasion, I've nearly been blown off the freeway due to gusts in the 40-60 MPH range. When you drive a car that has plastic windows, they tend to act like a sail and can send you into the next lane of traffic.

2. Cool it!
Where I'm from, sun = warm. The sun comes out here everyday, so you actually have to pay attention to the weather report which tends to be quite accurate around here. In January, it gets into the 30's. Not cool. The only thing people ever say to me is "You're going to die in the summer." Nothing about "Just so you know, it can get cold here so you might want a parka."

3. Welcome Wagons.
So far anyone I've met -not associated to the nightlife scene- has been extremely welcoming. Granted, 3 months isn't a very long time and I know people are nice to you when you're new, so we'll see how this turns out later.

4. Vegas has 'traffic.'
Granted, it's not LA, NY or Seattle, but there is a fair amount of traffic congestion on the freeway. Luckily my work route doesn't go through a lot of the traffic, so that's nice for my commute.

5. Creepy Crawlies.
I've learned about all I want to know about cockroaches. They are gross.

6. "Clean Dirt".
My friend has a yard. I was surprised to see how green it was being in the desert and all. Then I found out it was AstroTurf. "Very easy to clean."

7. Officer, I thought it was legal!
Contrary to popular belief, Clark County does not allow prostitution. However, if you are willing to go 60 miles outside of The City of Sin, you will find brothels where you can partake in activities of that sort, but not legally in Las Vegas.

8. Clip This!
I get coupons to some of the casinos here. 2 for 1 specials, show coupons, dinners, 'line passes', and $20 of 'free play'. It's pretty cool since drinks here can run you $15 for a glass of wine (that's not even an exaggeration).

9. The Sun Doesn't Shine All The Time.
Summers of my childhood were exciting. Long nights because the sun didn't go down until 9:30 which meant bedtime was later, riding bikes continued until well into the evening and in my later years, it meant when I got off work I still had several hours of daylight to hang out with friends. Vegas is in a valley, which means the sun doesn't stick around much longer than 7:30 in the summer. That made me a little sad. (apparently this will make me happy in August when it's over 100 degrees.)

10. Natural Beauty.
There are beautiful things in Vegas. Beautiful people, beautiful clothes, beautiful cars, beautiful hotels all in abundance. What you don't realize is the natural surroundings; the rocky hills, the different colored rocks and the colors these areas take as the light shifts throughout the day is something just as breathtaking if you wait long enough for your eyes to focus.

Next Stop, Penthouse Suite.

How do you write an elevator pitch about your life? As if people can be summed up in one word. Ever ask someone how they would describe you using one word? Try it. You'll get something like "Adorable. No no no, wait. Funny! Or no, actually full of life, oh wait that's three. How about... Quirky. Yes, that's it Quirky!"

For whatever reason I thought necessary at the time, I decided to join 9200 other bloggers in the 31 Days to a Better Blog Challenge in order to get back to writing and maybe learn something in the process. Or possibly get people to read this. But seriously, day one is "Write an Elevator Pitch." Awesome. For someone whose blog is about their life, I'm pretty sure that would be akin to the headline in a personal ad: "Just a normal guy," or how about "I can't believe I'm doing this." Better yet, "Insert witty headline here." Well, here's my headline -I mean- elevator pitch:

Moments and adventures of a witty 30-something whose ability to take risks and small leaps of faith have led her along a strange and hilarious path where even normal experiences take on extraordinary outcomes.

Pitch this.