How The Dictionary Almost Ruined My Name

So, today I'm having an email banter with my coworker/friend Matt. We were talking about my lunch that I was going to throw together since I've realized how much money I've spent instead of saving for my Costa Rica excursion (which consisted of tuna fish (canned) black beans and a tortilla. mm. I mean it doesn't even get three mmm's.) He replies to me with some tantalizing description of the cheeseburger he is going to have and the difficulty he will have in picking the type of cheese. I tell him he's mean. Which leads to him asking me if I mean he is mediocre, medium..

So, I look up the definition to send his way: see definition here and choose the second description of the word.

When he asks me if I mean to tell him he is 'unimposing and shabby' I realize he's probably not going to buy me the cheeseburger if I'm mean to him so, I reply with.. "You know when you read the definition its pretty offensive to call someone mean."

"So, which definition applies to your [nick]name?"

uh oh. So, I go back to the definition and search for something better. Something to redeem myself.. crap! crap! I knew I had self esteem issues sometimes, but uh oh. How am I supposed to feel good about myself if I keep referring to myself as 'small, humiliated, or ashamed,' or 'low in status, rank or dignity'.. geez... and then

Ding! Ding! Ding! he he. I find definition number 2.11 slang skillful or impressive. he he he

After all this, I realize.. how am I going to teach people the English language if I don't have a great handle on it myself. Think of it. How many words we have that mean (see!) totally different things. Or those words like height/weight that look like they should be pronounced the same, but they aren't?!?!?!

I don't think my cutesy personality is gonna get me out of that one. I guess I'll just try and stay away from that one.